BOSS !!!

1. When your boss says - "You have screwed up this module"
Smile - it means "the other modules were good"

2. When your boss says - "I am not going to let you go early today evening"
Smile - It means "you can come late tomorrow"

3. When your boss says - "Do the documentation"
Smile - it means "Relax dude, you've done enough of coding, time to give your brains a break"

4. When your boss says - "You do nothing but just surf the internet"
Smile - it means "Dude, now I know where all that knowledge comes from"

5. When your boss says - "Do you come to office to sleep?"
Smile - It means "hey buddy, why do you stress yourself? Have a good night's
sleep and come to office whenever you wish!"

6 . When your boss says - "Stop staring at that girl you moron"
Smile - it means "My wife is better than her "

7. When your boss says - "Why does nothing work on your machine?"
Smile - it means "I am thinking I could rather give you my laptop"

8. When your boss says - "Would you stop talking on your mobile phone?"
Smile - it means "Use the office phone instead"

9. When your boss says - "Why do you keep smiling always?"
Smile - it means "I love the fact that You are spreading the good will"

10. When your boss says - "YOU ARE FIRED"
SLAP HIM IN HIS FACE AND SAY - "I RESIGN" :)

Funny Shit - Thodi masti thoda Fun :)

Thank God its Friday ;) The most awaited day in week :D
Enjoy Reading Funny Shit ..... oopss Jokes :) :D

OFFICE MEMO:

All members of staff – please note that due to Recession, there will only be one drink per Person at this year’s Annual Party.
And please bring your own cup!

Regards,

Management

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And what happened at the annual party !!!
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The Present - Spencer Johnson

Finished reading 'THE PRESENT' - Worth spending time :)

Some of the take aways from the book

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Be in the Present
When you want to be Happier and more Effective
Focus on what is right now
Respond to what is important Today.

Learn from the Past
When you want to make the Present better than the Past
Look at what happened in the Past
Learn something valuable from it
Do Things differently Today.

Help create the Future
When you want to make Future better than the Present
Imagine what a wonderful future would look like
Make a realistic Plan
Do something Today to help it happen.

Realize your Purpose
Explore ways to make your work
Find life more Meaningful.

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When you Live and Work with Purpose
And respond to what is important Today
You are more able to Lead, Manage, Support, Befriend and Love

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Being more Successful means
Becoming more of Who You are Capable of Being
Each of us defines for ourselves
What it means to be more Successful

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Chanakya Quotes

A man is born alone and dies alone; and he experiences the good and bad consequences of his karma alone; and he goes alone to hell or the Supreme abode.

A man is great by deeds, not by birth.

A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.

As a single withered tree, if set aflame, causes a whole forest to burn, so does a rascal son destroy a whole family.

As long as your body is healthy and under control and death is distant, try to save your soul; when death is immanent what can you do?

As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it.

Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead.

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person.

Do not be very upright in your dealings for you would see by going to the forest that straight trees are cut down while crooked ones are left standing.

Do not reveal what you have thought upon doing, but by wise council keep it secret being determined to carry it into execution.

Education is the best friend. An educated person is respected everywhere. Education beats the beauty and the youth.

Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous.

God is not present in idols. Your feelings are your god. The soul is your temple.

He who is overly attached to his family members experiences fear and sorrow, for the root of all grief is attachment. Thus one should discard attachment to be happy.

He who lives in our mind is near though he may actually be far away; but he who is not in our heart is far though he may really be nearby.

If one has a good disposition, what other virtue is needed? If a man has fame, what is the value of other ornamentation?

It is better to die than to preserve this life by incurring disgrace. The loss of life causes but a moment's grief, but disgrace brings grief every day of one's life.

Never make friends with people who are above or below you in status. Such friendships will never give you any happiness.

O wise man! Give your wealth only to the worthy and never to others. The water of the sea received by the clouds is always sweet.

Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest.

One whose knowledge is confined to books and whose wealth is in the possession of others, can use neither his knowledge nor wealth when the need for them arises.

Purity of speech, of the mind, of the senses, and of a compassionate heart are needed by one who desires to rise to the divine platform.

Test a servant while in the discharge of his duty, a relative in difficulty, a friend in adversity, and a wife in misfortune.

The biggest guru-mantra is: never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you.

The earth is supported by the power of truth; it is the power of truth that makes the sun shine and the winds blow; indeed all things rest upon truth.

The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all direction.

The happiness and peace attained by those satisfied by the nectar of spiritual tranquillity is not attained by greedy persons restlessly moving here and there.

The life of an uneducated man is as useless as the tail of a dog which neither covers its rear end, nor protects it from the bites of insects.

The one excellent thing that can be learned from a lion is that whatever a man intends doing should be done by him with a whole-hearted and strenuous effort.

The serpent, the king, the tiger, the stinging wasp, the small child, the dog owned by other people, and the fool: these seven ought not to be awakened from sleep.

The wise man should restrain his senses like the crane and accomplish his purpose with due knowledge of his place, time and ability.

The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman.

There is no austerity equal to a balanced mind, and there is no happiness equal to contentment; there is no disease like covetousness, and no virtue like mercy.

There is poison in the fang of the serpent, in the mouth of the fly and in the sting of a scorpion; but the wicked man is saturated with it.

There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth.

Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.

We should not fret for what is past, nor should we be anxious about the future; men of discernment deal only with the present moment.

Whores don't live in company of poor men, citizens never support a weak company and birds don't build nests on a tree that doesn't bear fruits.

Sharpen your Axe

“Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. Most of all, other people can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.”

Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
- Abraham Lincoln

A great quote, isn’t it? It’s the opposite of what many people do. When they have a project to work on, many people just work on it directly with little or no preparation. To the contrary, smart people prepare things well in advance and that way they outperform those with little or no preparation. They accomplish the job in less time and with less stress. That’s what I call working smart.

Preparation is essential to work smart. At a glance, it may seem like a waste of time. Isn’t it better to use the time to get the job done? Isn’t it better to get to work directly? But preparation can make the difference between being productive and just being tired.

Here are three ways preparation can help you:

1. Preparation helps you find if something is worth doing. Few things waste your time more than working on the wrong project. So it’s wise to check first if something is worth doing. Is it the best use of your time and resources? Is there other project that can give you better return for your investment? Spend time to find out whether or not the project is feasible. The time saved from not doing the wrong project far outweighs the time spent to research it.
2. Preparation helps you find the most efficient way to do things. Once you decide that a project is worth doing, the next step is finding the most efficient way to do it. Those with no preparation will use the first method they can think of or the one they are familiar with. But chance is there are other methods out there that can do things better and faster. Do some research to find them. One good way is by watching how the best people in your field work. Find several models and observe the advantages and disadvantages of their methods. Pay special attention to methods that are radically different from what you know. Then combine the best methods to create something that suits your style and situation.
3. Preparation makes you ready when opportunity comes. You shouldn’t prepare yourself only when you have a project ahead. Even when there is no project, you should keep building your skills and knowledge. Keep learning, keep growing, and open your eyes. That way when opportunity comes you will be ready to grab it. As Seneca said: Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

There is a danger though: you could be over-prepared. Being over-prepared is dangerous because you may then take action way too late or never take action at all. Even worse, some people use preparation as an excuse not to take action. Don’t let this happen to you. Do only the preparation that significantly contributes to your project and your personal growth. Prepare well but don’t over-prepare.